How It Really Started

I was on the process of trying to figure out how to go on and live my life away from my so-called "back-up husband" when things turned a little bit more immature and so-not-me events started to happen. I'm not so proud of it but this deserves to be heard. Haha.

After the last date with my so-called "back-up husband", the childish and carefree side of me started to reemerge.

I go out more than usual. I text and chat a lot. I interact with people that I never gave time before. Somehow I enjoyed the feeling of not being committed to anyone but myself and my happiness. I started meeting people and let myself experience how it felt like to become a teenage always-on-the-go kind of girl again.

The truth is...I was seriously sad with the fact that my first epic love, my back-up husband, the one and only Mr. 60 can't give me the kind of love that I was craving to feel...I was waiting for that time for him to pull up his courage and make me feel like I'm worth fighting for. But it never happened.

It was actually a matter of how long I can wait for him to have that courage because he said it will come...but the other side of me was saying or you can wait in vain.

LOVE is out of the question. I'm sure we love each other very much. But it's just unfair to imprison myself in that kind of situation.

It's true that I was most of the time playing and having fun feeling young and carefree with some people that I don't wanna give the names.

And Aki happened to be one of them. He's just one of those guys who dared to chat me during my super available moment. He's simply one of them.

To me (that time), he's just another guy from my hometown who happened to be one of the bad boys.

But due to my excess time, I replied to his messages.

And the conversation went like this...(although I can't remember the exact lines...)

Aki: Kumusta naman ka dai?

Hara: Okay lang man. Ikaw dong?

Aki: Buhi pa man. Haha

(And then I don't know what to say...then I remembered a photo of him holding a baby...)

Hara: May anak na jud ka?

Aki: Wala oi. Atik atik lang toh...

And the rest was part of the history.

I was surprised that I enjoyed chatting with him.

Normal lang naman ang topics namn. Hanggang sa nag-level up. Napunta sa plano na magkita sa Makati. But actually, my plan of going to Makati the next year was supposed to meet Mr. 60. Haha. Kaloka! Until he asked for my number. He was a Smart subscriber and I was Sun Subscriber. But then he switched to Sun.

We talked everyday. I was happy. Seriously happy. I don't understand how I feel at those moments. All I know was that I was happy. It's funny to use the word love way too early...and it may seem exaggerated but that time, I think I was falling in love. It took me less that a week to fall in love with the guy. What the hell!

I haven't even met him or talk to him in person. Haha.

But on my part, I just grabbed the opportunity to feel kilig kilig again. Just for fun. But hours passed like months and days passed like years. It's as if we've been together for a long time already.

It was weird. So weird and so unexpected and so unreal.

There are tons of reasons not to love him...but I'm loving him anyway.

HAHA.